The Friendship Formula: Making Friends Anywhere

Making friends in a new city is a rite of passage for any digital nomad. Some find it exciting, others get anxious, and some don’t know where to begin. Starting a social circle from scratch can be challenging but also simple once you follow the basics. This post lays out fundamental tips to help you make new friends in a new city.

The Friendship Formula:

The basic process to making friends is as easy as 1-2-3

Meet new people
Invite these people to do things together
Build rapport and spend more time together

This is the foundation for making casual friends as well as genuine friendships. For more tips on meaningful friendships, check out our guide on how to make lasting friends.

1. Meet New People

1.1 Get Outside

The first step is so obvious that it should not be underestimated. You have to physically go out where there are people and put yourself in front of them. Your presence is key for any friendship to begin. You need to let serendipity do its thing by being in a space where there are other people. Making friends begins by exposing yourself and being open to meeting people. Find out more tips on how to meet people in a new city.

1.2 Observe Things

Next, pay attention to your thoughts and surroundings. Observations are your fuel to spark conversations. Follow your curiosities and take note of them. Look around and see what catches your attention. What is happening around you? What are people doing? What are you wondering about today?

1.2 Start Conversations with Everyone

Starting a conversation sharpens your social skills and helps grow your network. It’s the precursor to small talk or banter. You won’t make friends by waiting for others to invite you into their world. You have to provide the opportunity first. That means getting comfortable talking with strangers.

Breaking the ice is not as scary as you think. There’s no need for clever lines. Just use your observations. It can be a question, a statement, or a simple gesture. It doesn’t matter what you say or who you talk to. It doesn’t matter if you get a weak response. What matters is making a daily habit of starting conversations. Over time you will naturally learn to carry the conversation and exchange details.

Keep mindful of body language. Wearing headphones, staring at screens, or crossed arms are generally not welcoming signs. In contrast, a smile and an upbeat appearance signal openness to conversation.

Talking with strangers may feel uncomfortable at first. But like a gym workout, regular social exercise builds confidence and social skills. These are core skills that open opportunities for making new friends.

1.3 Embrace Word of Mouth IRL

Word of mouth recommendations are your secret weapon to start conversations and meet new people. You don’t have to come up with some genius strategy. Just ask people things as you would online and use less technology.

Ask for directions, opinions, ideas or recommendations. Instead of using booking apps to find the best hotel, ask some people. Rather than using google maps to find the best café, ask someone! You could even ask around where there are good places to meet people or make friends in town. This way, you’ll have boots-on-the-ground real-time data about the best places to socialize.

Many social activities are also not easily found online. People in the know only hear about these things through their own communities. That’s why talking with everyone is good practice everywhere you go. You might not ever find out about the local ultimate frisbee league that hangs out after games for drinks, unless you chat with someone while waiting in line at a bar.

You don’t have to completely shun technology. Just don’t be so helplessly lost without it. Societies have formed just fine without the help of the internet. It may even be worth visiting places with limited internet connectivity so you can experience how friendships naturally grow.

1.4 Visit Friendly Places

There are places where the culture and hospitality of the people welcomes you with wide open arms. Wouldn’t it make sense to begin looking for friends where the atmosphere is friendly?

Visit countries or cities whose people are overall regarded to be warm and hospitable. Yes there are friendly people everywhere you go, but some societies are infectiously friendly. Many Spanish or Portuguese cultures are good destinations to make friends in easy mode.

Alternatively you can explore small regional areas such as tropical islands where the pace of life is relaxed and the culture is hospitable.

Next, you can look for communities that have a good reputation with welcoming people. These could be places like places of worship, charities, and volunteering organizations.

Lastly you can explore activities known to have playful and positive vibes such as beach volleyball, dance classes, karaoke, improv classes, color runs, group aerobics, drum circles, parkour, rock climbing and bouldering gyms.

1.5 Finding Travel Buddies

The classic way to find a travel buddy is to use your eyes and scan around for other solo travelers. Look for people who are alone eating, sitting or standing around taking selfies.

Then start a conversation making an observation or asking for recommendations. Are there good photo opportunities you could suggest to take? What are they eating or drinking and where can you find that? Do they know any hidden gems to check out in the area?

Don’t be shy to approach small groups too as they are sometimes traveling groups who were formed by strangers at one point. You may end up becoming part of one if you go out and initiate contact.

2. Make Invitations

2.1 Invite People To Things

Invitations are the best way to turn strangers into friends. Most people wait to get invited to things. Be someone who sends out invites. You’ll become the hub of a social circle and be known as a connector. People will ask you about future gatherings and may bring along new friends to meet.

Start with easy, low-commitment social activities nearby to minimize friction. More effort requires more rapport, but travelers tend to be more open minded to ambitious ideas. It also helps if you can coordinate a social outing around a common or related interest.

Get clued up on things to do in the area for social event ideas. If you don’t know the area, ask some people what are some fun things to do in town. You might even find new friends this way. Ask everyone you meet about interesting places to see, good foods to eat, parks to explore, or shows to see. Use this intel to assemble your own crew and do cool things together.

Hosting events doesn’t need to be special. Simply share your future plans and invite others to join. Whatever you planned on doing anyway, mention it in conversations or online. It could be going out for lunch, or a run around the block. If someone can’t make it, don’t take it personally. Update them on other activities to stay on top of their mind. If however they’re consistently flakey, it’s time to move on to new potential friends.

Bottom line: Open the door for others to join you.

2.2 Accept Invitations

Say YES more often.

There is something empowering and energizing just by saying YES! YES opens doors. YES pushes your comfort zone. YES creates pathways to meet new people and unforgettable travel stories.

Accept any invitation thrown your way, especially if you have no plans. Going out anywhere creates opportunities to meet new people along the way. A meaningful connection can be made in the most mundane of places. Making friends is not so much about the activities you do together, but about spending time with people.

Expanding your social circle requires an open-mind and pushing your comfort zone. Say yes to unlikely friends or inconvenient activities. Quit shutting off people on face value. You can’t be so picky with who you meet or what you do when you’re new to town.

Don’t underestimate the power of social networks and the 6 degrees of separation. Any person can be the conduit to that dream social circle you desire, or the love of your life. When you start accepting invitations you will eventually weave your way through different friend circles and interest groups that are totally aligned with you.

Say it out loud – “Yes, let’s!”

These magical words will open a world of social abundance.

2.3 Exchange Details

As you start meeting new people you want to have a good reason to stay in touch. Suggesting future social activities is a natural way to exchange contact details and hangout again in the future.

Alternatively let them know you have some relevant media to share. Keep a mental note of people’s interests and connect them to things they would value. It could be highly rated books, videos, websites, music, podcasts, apps or even connecting them to other people. Then all you have to do is ask them what’s the best way to send it to them and grab their details.

Sharing photos is another natural way to exchange details. People love travel photos so if you can see good photo opportunities let people know. All you need to do is capture candid shots or hustle together people for a group shot. Bingo, there’s your ticket to exchange social media details. This works well in more familiar social settings like in tours, hostels and other group settings where you’ve made some small talk with some people but not yet exchanged details.

3. Nurture Connections

The challenging part with making friends is not meeting new people, but rather the follow-up. You have to look for ways to meet again. That’s why it’s important that you get involved with groups, clubs or communities with constant social events where you can suggest to your new acquaintances to join you. Or at the very least have some type of anchor such as media recommendations, or some must-see things you suggested to explore.

Once you have exchanged details make sure you ping your new friends every once in a while. Like or comment on their photos. Tag or share things they might like. Let them know about any interesting events you come across. Connect them with other people who you know in the area.

Then make sure to invite your new buddies to any event you’re going to. Don’t fret if they don’t join you from the get go. Sometimes the timing is off or it just wasn’t meant to be. Just keep meeting new people and sending out invites. It’s just a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better odds you’ll make new friends.

CONCLUSION

Making friends anywhere is a simple process if you follow the friendship formula. Meet new people, invite them out, and build rapport over time. The fundamental step is going outside more often. Starting conversations with everyone is the next key skill that will help you meet new people. Then you just need to stay in touch and invite people to social activities regularly. Regular gatherings are how you nurture connections and turn acquaintances into friends. For more tips on taking your friendships further, check out our guide on how to make lasting friendships.